My head has been shrunk!

Before you bring to mind the scene in Men in Black where Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith go into the shop and zap Tony Shaloub's head, leaving a little tiny grapefruit sized head in its place...I mean figuratively. I saw the psychiatrist yesterday morning.

He was a nice fellow. Asked me a bunch of question about what I knew about the band and how long I had been thinking about it. We talked about that for a little bit. Then he asked me a bunch of questions like what is the date, year, day of the week, who is the president...who was president before that? Before that? Before that? I guess I passed...he told me that he did not see any psychological barriers to my going forward with the surgery.

WOOT! Good thing he didn't talk to my friends. They'd have probably brought in a straight jacket!

I have my last pre-op appointment, the nutritionist, on Tuesday, Feb 2. Then comes the BIG wait!

I see no issue with this one either...so, as far as I am concerned I'm already in the wait. It all depends on if my claims administrator deems me a medically necessary case. I'm already freaking out thinking that the insurance company will find some way to say no.

-Frog

…Ummer…unnn…annn

I have read a lot, both on LBT and on various blogs, about people’s decisions on who to tell. I have 5 people who know I am working to go through this process. There is Gunny, Airborne, D, Bug and my parents. Counted my parents collectively…so I guess technically there are 6 people who know. Let me explain why these are the people who know.

Gunny and Airborne are both guys I work with that are more like my big brothers (without all the fighting) than co-workers. D and Bug are my good friends.

Gunny is a retired Marine. Anyone who has ever known a Marine knows “once a Marine, always a Marine”. Semper Fidelis is the Marine Corps motto. It means Always Faithful. Gunny is still 100% Marine. I did not know what to think of him when we met, about 6 years ago. He came off as rather an ass. First impressions are NOT always right. He is a sweetheart!

Airborne is a former soldier. He was “double-stacked”…Airborne and Air Assault. Airborne is someone I did NOT expect to end up friends with when we met. Again, first impressions are NOT always right. We hit it off amazingly well! We are really good friends. I would say he is a sweetheart, but his “black heart” would not be pleased at that description. Suffice it to say, I know that he is actually a good guy…but sssssshhhh, don’t tell him I said that…it will be our little secret.

D and I met about 7 years ago. We went through our pregnancies together (her third, my first). In fact, she is the one that told me I was pregnant. We have worked together, taken Calculus together and done art work together. Whenever we can arrange the time, our kids play together! She has been 100% supportive of this idea from the get go. She is the one that went to the seminar with me. She kept eyeballs on Tadpole!!

Bug and I met about 10 years ago. I was being moved to a new team at work and they put me in a cube with her. She was to train me for the new project I would be working. We hit it off! We have been making jokes, for years, about being twins that were separated at birth, 12 years apart. When she moved away with her then husband, we kept in touch via email and a mail journal. After their divorce, I talked her into coming back to Arizona! She is 100% supportive of me. I don’t think she is completely thrilled with the whole idea but I KNOW she will support me, no matter what I do. In fact, on the trip to the surgeon the other day, she told me that she wanted to go and was excited to learn more as she is my “…Ummer…unnn…annn”. (This comes from the book “Misery” by Stephen King. At some point, near the beginning of the story, the hero of the story is waking up after a car accident. He hears sort of a humming in his ears and it sounds like “…Ummer…unnn…annn”. It is actually the CRAZY BITCH saying “number one fan”.)

Then there are my parents. My Mom hasn’t really said how she feels about this. My Dad told me I was “out of your f**king mind”. I’m not sure why…but ok.

There are the people who know. Gunny and Airborne are my support during the day. D, Bug and my parents are support the rest of the time! I know that they will all keep my secret.

I have some really good, old friends that do not know yet…neither do my Brother and Sister. I will tell them…LATER. None of them live in the area with me. I want to do this, lose some of the weight and then go for a visit to surprise them. I know that they too will support me no matter what…thrilled with the idea or not.

Other than that, I do not plan to tell anyone right now. Maybe after there is progress and people have started to notice, I will answer the inevitable “how did you do it?” questions with the WHOLE truth…time will tell.

-Frog

Surgeon

I had my appointment with the surgeon on Monday morning. The surgeon’s office is about 75 miles from home, just down the street from where I attended the seminar! I asked a friend (Bug) to go with me…it makes the hour drive seem faster when I have someone to talk to.

Monday morning, I dropped Tadpole off at school and picked Bug up. Off we went. We made our mandatory stop at Circle K (a 7-11 type convenience store, for those that might not know) and picked up sodas and breakfast. We did the usual girl chat on the drive. Bug told me that she would like to come into the room with me to meet the surgeon. When I asked why...her response was to learn more. I told her I didn’t mind. I said we could always tell them she was my mother if there was an issue!! :)

Since it was my first appointment they said to be there 30 minutes early. I had gotten the intake paperwork at the seminar, so it was already filled out. I had also faxed it in a couple of days early. The result? We waited! About 45 minutes of waiting. Now, patience is not a virtue I was blessed with...so I was cracking jokes and making snide comments at Bug the whole time...couldn't help it!

They called my name. Here goes!! First thing they do? You all know...the DREADED scale! I told Bug she could not be all shocked when she saw my weight. I don't know if she actually saw it or not...I tried to cover it up and not let anyone see it. But, of course, they wrote it down. Mortification...that's all I can say. Then into the room we go. The gal took my blood pressure (no high BP problem for me!) and asked a couple of questions. Told me the surgeon would be in shortly.

Bug and I sat there making comments about the colors of the room. One wall was, I would say seafoam green, but it was a little bluer than green. The rest were beige. The cupboards were a combo of greenish blue mold with swipes of brown sand and carrot orange. Hey...it kept us entertained!

The surgeon came in about 5 minutes later. He talked to me for 5 – 10 minutes. He basically told me all the same stuff he had said in the seminar. He asked me to lift my shirt, palpated my abdomen and then told me I was an excellent candidate for the surgery. Said that he was certain they could help me. I just need to finish the last 2 appointments and they can submit my paperwork to the insurance company.

Let me tell you, this is the one and only time in my life that I hope the “roller coaster” ride is fast, short and straight with no twists, turns, ups or downs.

-Frog

The End.

Where was I? Oh yes, the seminar. When we got there and signed in, they gave is a large packet of information. It included the usual you would expect (brochures on the types of band, details on the surgery etc.) as well as informational cards on the doctors in the practice and a stack of paperwork. It was mostly the forms for the doctor, but one of the pages was a bright orange page with a list of things you have to do prior to your “file” being submitted to the insurance company: get a note from your primary care physician (PCP) stating bariatric surgery is a medical necessity, get a referral to the surgeon, schedule a consultation with the surgeon, get copy of medical records, and have both psychological and dietary evaluations. My brain started churning…but back to that later.

The surgeon was there. He talked for the first part of the hour. Doc told us about the surgery (including percentage rates of various potential complications), his credentials, and some of his after surgery directions. After he was done, the program coordinator (at least I think that is what she is) talked to us. She talked about the paperwork and steps that would need to be done (the bright orange page from above) and answered all of our questions. I left after an hour with the knowledge needed to gather my armor and hopefully slay the fat dragon forever!

Back to my brain churning…I had an appointment scheduled with my PCP for Jan 18. That was 12 days away. I didn’t want to wait that long. I figured I needed the recommendation and referral from her before doing anything else. I called her office on Jan 7. I told them that I would not be able to make my appointment on the 18th and could we move it up. They asked if Jan 12 would work. I jumped on it!

Now I wait again. This time I only had to wait 6 days. I get to her office. I have all of the paperwork from the Bariatric Center in my bag. My PCP is not the friendliest of doctors. I sat in her office chewing my fingernails (figuratively speaking) waiting to be called in. They finally called me back. We do the first thing that always happens…weight. I conveniently (can’t believe I am saying that!) gained 4 pounds since I last saw her (was October). I’m actually thinking that is pretty good since we had both Thanksgiving and Christmas since my last visit! They check my blood pressure, pulse and temperature. I’m surprised my BP was not HIGH. I was so nervous about talking to the Doctor.

After doing the usual conversation with her, she says, “Oh, I see you lost…oh wait, you gained weight.” I said, “Yes and actually I wanted to talk to you about that.” I slide the bright orange page over to show her. I tell her exactly what I want. She says, “I’m glad you want to…hold on…” and runs out of the office. She comes running back in and writes down my BMI. “I’m glad you want to do this. I think it will help you.” She then writes me the note and referral. HOLY CRAP. She actually wrote the note. I walked out of the office nice and calm…I didn’t start screaming until I got into my car. I’m sure anyone within earshot of my car thought I was crazy!

The next morning I start setting up the rest of the appointments. I call the surgeon and set up my consultation for Jan 25. I then found a psychiatrist (pronounced peace-a-key-a-trist*) here in town. I set up an appointment for Jan 29. Now all I need is the nutritionist and I will be on my way!

-Frog

*I'm prone to making up my own way to say things too! :)

The Middle.

I began wait #1, the chance to change to the other insurance option. I found Lap Band Talk (LBT). I started reading posts/comments from people. While doing this, I saw one poster listed a blog. That was Catherine (http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/). I figured what the heck and went to read her story. Read from beginning to end. On her site I saw the list of blogs she followed. That is how I found Amy (http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/). Again, read from beginning to end. Both of these women are awesome! I started checking out all the blogs they followed. I read a good majority of them…all as a lurker. My very first post was on Amy’s blog the other night. I am going to hang up my lurker boots and will actually start following them and commenting! I will create my own list of blogs I follow soon!

Anyhoozle, I continued my wait. Come December, I availed myself of open enrollment at work and changed my insurance! I knew from all the reading, that most insurance companies would cover the surgery if your BMI was over 40 (35 with co-morbidities). I also knew that a lot of the insurance companies required this to have been the case for more than 5 years. I contacted my doctor’s office and requested a copy of my records. Took a week…I got them on Dec 19. Now came wait #2. Come on 2010!!!

Tadpole was off with Daddy until Jan 2, so I totally enjoyed my holidays with my family and friends…no one to worry about but me! Tadpole returned home and we went back to work/school on Jan 4.

I was sitting at my desk doing my usual reading of blogs and LBT. It occurred to me that it was now after Jan 1. I was on the appropriate insurance program. I finally opened the records from the doctor’s office. I had records going back 10 years! In 1999 my BMI was 39.5. I went up from there…it hit 43.6 in 2001. It went down briefly but never below 36. In 2003 (after Tadpole was born) it was 40 and on the rise. It has never gone back down. I can’t believe I waited this long to open the file!!

I put together a spreadsheet of dates, weights and BMIs. I then looked for a surgeon…both in my area and that insurance would pay for (if surgery was deemed medically necessary). Mission accomplished. I then remembered something I read on LBT. Most people had to go to an information seminar with their choice of surgeon before anything else happened. I immediately began looking around my doctor’s site and found a seminar on Jan 6. HOLY CRAP…two days away.

I called a friend of mine, D, and talked her into going with me. I needed someone to help me with Tadpole while at the seminar. D kept me company on the hour long drive (each way). She then listened to the seminar while simultaneously taking care of Tadpole, so I could focus 100% on what was being said.

The End will follow soon.

-Frog

The Beginning.

Hopefully I’m doing this whole blog thing “right”!

I told you that I am 5’4” tall and fluffy. Let me go a little further. I have always been fluffy. I do not remember a time in life where that was not the case.

This brings us to the subject that prompted me to start this blog…the ongoing life struggle to lose weight.

I have been considering WLS (weight loss surgery) for a couple of years now. I have pretty much always known that bypass is NOT the way for me. I do not like the idea of a permanent "re-wiring" of my innards. In Aug 2008, I was surfing the 'net and found an ad for True Results. The website was talking about a different option for WLS. Lap-Band. They were running a special...I don't remember all the exact wording, but basically the initial visit was free. I thought, "Why the hell not?" I mean what is the worst thing they would tell me..."you're overweight." OMG! Let's just call it like it is. Bring out the big guns...the f-word! Yep, let's just put it out there. I'm fat. Not just fat...but obese. Morbidly obese. Super morbidly obese. I'm not 500lbs...but at 5'4", it doesn't take 500lbs to hit the SMO category. I cried the first time the doctor wrote that on my medical chart...but I digress.

I scheduled a visit for about 2 weeks later. On the appointed day, I took my little one to day care, and drove 3 hours to visit their clinic. I filled out the paperwork they had and then they called me back. They took my height, weight and blood pressure. It then took all of 5 minutes for them to tell me that they could do surgery in 2 weeks. HOLY CRAP. All we needed was to see about payment. My insurance at the time would not cover this. They told me it would cost between $15 and $20K. HOLY CRAP. I don't know about you, but I do not have that kind of money. I knew that getting credit to pay for it was not an option.

I left the office dejected.

I went back to work and life. I was bummed out majorly...but I was there. I kept reading about WLS and thinking about it. I was researching and trying to come up with any and all options out there that would allow me to have this surgery. Seems like with every job I had, the insurance included an exclusion clause for this.

I changed jobs a couple of years ago. There were several insurance options available. Naturally I chose the WRONG one. This one had the typical exclusion stating that WLS was not covered under ANY circumstances. I got mailed a copy (Oct 2009) of the coverage/exclusion for the other plan we were allowed to choose. HOLY CRAP…WLS was excluded EXCEPT when deemed medically necessary by the claims administrator. I started jumping up and down in my kitchen as I read it. I finally had a shot. I plotted and planned a course of action. But, I was just going to have to do several “waits”.

The Middle will be up next.

-Frog

About Me.

Here we go. Before we go too far, I warn you. I have a major thing for ellipses. I use them all the time. Right or wrong I still use them...ALL THE TIME!!

I've tried blogging before. Started in 2006...one post. Tried again in 2007...one post. Like my track record? Me too! I am trying again. I think part of why I never got very far with this...why would anyone care what I had to say. I will get into details as to why I am trying again on my next post. This one is more about me.

I'm 39. I'm feeling every bit of my 39 years too. I know they say that you are only as old as you feel. In that case, I'm about 85.

I have a Masters Degree in a field I said I would NEVER work in...computers. I remember at 15, when my parents got their first computer saying I would NEVER touch it! I guess the old adage is true...never say NEVER.

I failed this miserably again, when I said I would NEVER have children. I now have 1...Tadpole. I'm sure my little one will surface in conversation later...as children make some brutally honest comments...and mine is no exception! But for the moment, I prefer to leave Tadpole out things.

I know the blogosphere (is that how it is spelled?) is a great place to remain anonymous. I mean you can be a 95 year old man masquerading as a 23 year old blonde woman with big boobs and long legs. Well...I'm neither. I'm 5ft 4in tall and fluffy.

That's all I can think of for an initial post. From what I have seen in other blogs, details will come out as time goes by. Let's talk about those when they come up.

-Frog